i wan to throw in the towel now
i cannot take it anymore

bt i cant give up
cuz i cant
its so tiring
i wan to go home
i wan this to be over

i m on e brink of tears
i've nvr feel so incompetent abt a paper b4

fuck this shit
fuck u international marketing
fuck u malcolm n melanie
fuck u monash

what have i been doing

i just realise
i've been going in the flow of things
i might have lost a little of myself
i wasnt like that

its time
to take a step back
and do what i'm supposed to do

dear nancy,
dun get distracted.
do what u hv to do
n do it right

jia you

5 more days

I think it is the stress from exams
that is making me an emotional ball

I don't exactly get it
when i have prolly 8 days to study
ok. i just realise i dun hv much time
how comforting

at this point
i cant blame anyone but myself
for choosing a unit as such

it is this period of time
that is long, draggy and painful
just 1 last paper
i can give it my best shot
but so much info to digest
so much to remember
i study 2 chaps
n i can barely rem wad i flipped

seeing my frens leave for home
seeing them having holidays
no stress
no pain

i truly am envious of their freedom

i just wan to get this over and done with
why m i always e last to finish
i noe i'm nt alone
bt it seems i am

like they say
u wun understand the feelings of another
unless you go thru the same

for someone that hates exams
i duno how to describe how painful this is

i wan to go home
cuz tt's where freedom is

altho i hv to do an internship
that i regret
having to start so early
but i noe i cant bum around

no one's here to help u
u hv to help urself
one woman's show
fighting for the good for her future

think along that line
and all these are worth it
when i look back in abt 10 years time

i think i shld just go hit the books
as if complaining n whining will do me any good
i hv to shut off the feelings
i hv to think positive

but

i just need space to breathe
8 more days
just 8 more...

heckle

i realise

tho scars are healed
but it is there
always there
reminding u of how it was formed
reminding u of e sacrifice

i got reminded of the time
where i went thru an emotional turmoil
the ups n downs
the uncertainty
the sacrifice
the unwillingness

and now
its the same thing again
maybe not at the moment
bt say in a years time
i should be making choices

its either a give or die

i hate things like that
but..
i still have to make a choice
bt this time around
i might end up losing both choices

sigh
as u grow up
things get harder

indeed

heckle

is it the right choice
i ask myself once in a while
coming all e way here
spending so much marnee
bt i dun feel like i'm learning much.

aiya.

heckle

now that the limit is reached
you just wish you're not alive
ur're turned inside out
as if everything's ripped apart

u close ur eyes
hoping everything will go away
but the pictures plays like a silent film
making you cringe in pain

how do i forget
how do i escape
how do i live again
without you by my side

----------------------------------

a friend's pain
caused some emotions to arise

isnt it true
how love control our life sometimes

at this age
we are always seeking the right person
hoping to spend half our life with him/her
but in the process of searching
we fall and we pick up ourselves
as the vicious cycle carries on

the thing abt religion
that breaks relationships sometimes

why did God not allow his children to be w e unyolked
arnt they not humans too?
not all are bad
some have heart as pure as gold
some have nature as innocent as a lamb

i do not understand

heckle

people rem us because of the good we've done for them

the damage is done
the scar is there
to forgive n forget
that's easier said than done.

been feeling damn nua these days
maybe its e weather
winter's coming to an end
spring's approaching
the good temperature
so apt for sleeping

sometimes staring at the screen so long
everything starts to turn blur
we've been running in a race called life
sometimes we lose who we are in e midst of it

it was a relatively random post
can't exactly put down in words how i feel
after all
the limitiations of a public blog
not say i m an often writer
but it get conscious whenever the post is personal

oh well
so much for ranting

good nite earthlings

heckle